Last Day Has Arrived...

Today I sold my car, will be delivering it next week (have to payoff and get clear title first) and just in the nick of time - whew!  No more car payment takes a huge burden off the budget.  And tomorrow is my last day at the job and a half day at that.  I survived, barely...

Summer's finally here in upstate NY

Things I am grateful for as the weather finally turns to summer:

1. Central Air Conditioning in my house
2. The pool in my backyard
3. Ice Cream - lots and lots and lots of ice cream

Trying to act like I'm not afraid...

Got a phone call today, husband's last blood work came back with low platelet count and they are referring him to a hematologist (usually also an oncologist).  This news made me run to google and read all kinds of things that I should not have read.  I'm terrified at what this could be.  And some of my reasons for being scared are selfish I will admit it.

I'm trying not to go crazy with the worrying until further tests have been done but I am having a hard time with that.  :(

TGIF...

Working my last Friday at this job today! TGIF

Freedom coming...

And another drops in my lap...

A customer that is - this one an ongoing monthly fee for marketing consulting, graphic design, facebook and website maintenance.

Thanking my lucky stars, God, the universe and anyone/thing else that may be helping me rack up these clients!  :)

Oh and while I'm at it - one more week, in the homestretch, can see the finish line - almost done with the soul sucking job! 

Signs from the universe...

The universe continues to send me signs - on Monday - two new website projects fell into my lap.  I have my work cut out for me it seems.  Today I spent with my husband, we went to his appointment at the VA and then to a picnic for disabled vet's put on by a local American Legion Post.  I got to socialize with one of the other wives that has become a good friend.  We planned a camping trip for our two families to take together.  I got to see a movie with my husband and we both had a nice day.  We need more of those.

Thanks for the signs that I made the right decision and please keep them coming.

6 more days now!

Counting Down the Days...

Two days this week, Four days next week, Three days the following week.  Nine days total until I am no longer employed full time by someone other than myself.  And no unemployment cushion to fall back on.  It's exhilarating and frightening at the same time.

My self employment businesses have grown.  I've gotten promoted twice within the Scentsy organization and have one person in my downline so far.  My marketing services business just picked up another customer yesterday and I have 3 websites waiting for my attention.  I know we will be okay.

I have no motivation and no enthusiasm for the next nine work days though.  I am finding it VERY hard to do the right thing.  Like today for example.  Seriously contemplating calling in sick.  That would be wrong right?

I'm back...

I took a rather long blog vacation, but I'd like to think I'm back - hopeful to start writing more often again.  Life has taken some turns and I have been on quite a wild ride.

My husband's MS is getting worse - no if's and's or but's about it.  He is now secondary progressive and he is PROGRESSING.  He is lethargic and depressed and easily confused these days.  His doctors are working on his meds to hopefully help with some of this but I worry.

I had gotten called back to a full time job.  I didn't want to go but in a panic about losing unemployemnt benefits I said yes and for the last 3 months have regretted that decision daily.  So I gave notice and will be done on the 21st.  Trying to use VA transportation for the husband and not being at any of his appointments just wasn't going to work out for me.  I was on conference calls with his doctors when I should have been working.

I am also depressed, I know this.  I do not want medication.  I want things to be different BUT I'm coping.  Losing the soul sucking sales job will help.

I hope my posts are not all downers but no promises.  My career is officially dead and I am a caregiver first and  foremost.  At 42 that is a little hard to swallow and yet it is what I wanted and what I needed to do.

More later, I promise.