Life has certainly had some major changes. I last posted about 4 years ago. I wonder if anyone stumbles upon my blog anymore.
One of my biggest posts was about turning 38. Well now I'm about to turn 50 and I don't know why 38 seemed so bad?
My husbands MS has progressed to where he is like a 6'4" toddler in a wheelchair, supervision required and tantrums are part of day to day life.
Maybe I'll start talking again? Lord knows I have plenty to say.
Showing posts with label its all about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label its all about me. Show all posts
Monday, January 27, 2020
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Breaking through the other side...
I have been reading some of my old blog posts, it's always good to see where you have come from. It amazes me when I read the posts full of pain, fear, depression, posts where I felt alone, trapped, abused. Some are hard to read. Some are down right dramatic. I am amazed though as I read them to realize I have come through all of this and while life is far from perfect it's a whole lot better than I ever thought possible just 2 years ago.
We have settled into a more comfortable place. My husband is more stable in his disease and less combative in his day to day dealings with me. He has resigned himself to the fact that we live here, in NY, and that it does not make sense for use to move. He has made some friends in the veterans community and I have made friends as well with some wives. We have friends with a common perspective, with common struggles and it makes a big difference.
His meds are fairly well regulated, he is much happier overall and the depression has lifted some.
I am no longer deluding myself that a full time career is my destiny. I am happier working part time jobs and doing my own thing than I could ever be in corporate america after all I've been through.
So maybe this is why I'm not writing all the time anymore - my prolific posting had to do with misery and depression and I'm just not there anymore.
I miss writing though, I'd like to try to do more of it. I still have plenty to complain about but pet peeves really are not as interesting as real heartbreak and sorrow. I'll take my rather uninteresting life though, it is much more peaceful these days.
We have settled into a more comfortable place. My husband is more stable in his disease and less combative in his day to day dealings with me. He has resigned himself to the fact that we live here, in NY, and that it does not make sense for use to move. He has made some friends in the veterans community and I have made friends as well with some wives. We have friends with a common perspective, with common struggles and it makes a big difference.
His meds are fairly well regulated, he is much happier overall and the depression has lifted some.
I am no longer deluding myself that a full time career is my destiny. I am happier working part time jobs and doing my own thing than I could ever be in corporate america after all I've been through.
So maybe this is why I'm not writing all the time anymore - my prolific posting had to do with misery and depression and I'm just not there anymore.
I miss writing though, I'd like to try to do more of it. I still have plenty to complain about but pet peeves really are not as interesting as real heartbreak and sorrow. I'll take my rather uninteresting life though, it is much more peaceful these days.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
So I blacked out the other day..
Was in a doctor's office when it happened, not my doctor. My MIL's doctor. Not sure why or what happened but was standing near my MIL as he was asking her questions and checking her when I started to feel funny, then dizzy and then I decided I had to sit down and the floor was my only option so I sat.
At this point the doctor notices and asks if I'm okay I say I feel dizzy and just need to sit. Then I'm feeling queasy and both hot and cold and the black starts to creep in from the edges. I am seeing in a small tunnel in front of me and sounds are muffled and then black until something horrible is shoved under my nose (ammonia) and I start to come back out of it.
No idea why this happened. My MIL said I was white as a sheet. Her doctor had me lay back and put a cold wet cloth on my head. Within 5 minutes I was fine.
The thing I find odd is I passed out in a doctor's office and they didn't do a damn thing about finding out why? Didn't take my blood pressure or listen to my heart. Asked if I had eaten (I had) and didn't take a blood sugar to see what caused it. Now granted I was not his patient and not there to see him but don't you think he should have done more? I would have gladly turned over my insurance card if he wanted to bill it.
At the time I didn't think about it much but my sister was incensed that they did nothing to figure out why I just keeled over like that.
Anyway I see my own doctor in a week and a half for a regular appt. Will be getting bloodwork done next week first. Will be sure to mention it to her and nothing has happened like that since.
Right before it happened my MIL had been showing her doctor a sore on her leg that was about the size of a quarter and all black and blue. I am not at all uneasy about stuff like that. I had seen the same sore earlier that day when she changed the bandage. I have seen MUCH worse things. Blood does not gross me out. I think her doctor did not believe me and figured I just passed out at the sight of blood. It definitely was NOT that.
Oh well - no problems since and felt fine to drive my MIL back home after the appt. Very strange feeling though.
At this point the doctor notices and asks if I'm okay I say I feel dizzy and just need to sit. Then I'm feeling queasy and both hot and cold and the black starts to creep in from the edges. I am seeing in a small tunnel in front of me and sounds are muffled and then black until something horrible is shoved under my nose (ammonia) and I start to come back out of it.
No idea why this happened. My MIL said I was white as a sheet. Her doctor had me lay back and put a cold wet cloth on my head. Within 5 minutes I was fine.
The thing I find odd is I passed out in a doctor's office and they didn't do a damn thing about finding out why? Didn't take my blood pressure or listen to my heart. Asked if I had eaten (I had) and didn't take a blood sugar to see what caused it. Now granted I was not his patient and not there to see him but don't you think he should have done more? I would have gladly turned over my insurance card if he wanted to bill it.
At the time I didn't think about it much but my sister was incensed that they did nothing to figure out why I just keeled over like that.
Anyway I see my own doctor in a week and a half for a regular appt. Will be getting bloodwork done next week first. Will be sure to mention it to her and nothing has happened like that since.
Right before it happened my MIL had been showing her doctor a sore on her leg that was about the size of a quarter and all black and blue. I am not at all uneasy about stuff like that. I had seen the same sore earlier that day when she changed the bandage. I have seen MUCH worse things. Blood does not gross me out. I think her doctor did not believe me and figured I just passed out at the sight of blood. It definitely was NOT that.
Oh well - no problems since and felt fine to drive my MIL back home after the appt. Very strange feeling though.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
