I have been reading some of my old blog posts, it's always good to see where you have come from. It amazes me when I read the posts full of pain, fear, depression, posts where I felt alone, trapped, abused. Some are hard to read. Some are down right dramatic. I am amazed though as I read them to realize I have come through all of this and while life is far from perfect it's a whole lot better than I ever thought possible just 2 years ago.
We have settled into a more comfortable place. My husband is more stable in his disease and less combative in his day to day dealings with me. He has resigned himself to the fact that we live here, in NY, and that it does not make sense for use to move. He has made some friends in the veterans community and I have made friends as well with some wives. We have friends with a common perspective, with common struggles and it makes a big difference.
His meds are fairly well regulated, he is much happier overall and the depression has lifted some.
I am no longer deluding myself that a full time career is my destiny. I am happier working part time jobs and doing my own thing than I could ever be in corporate america after all I've been through.
So maybe this is why I'm not writing all the time anymore - my prolific posting had to do with misery and depression and I'm just not there anymore.
I miss writing though, I'd like to try to do more of it. I still have plenty to complain about but pet peeves really are not as interesting as real heartbreak and sorrow. I'll take my rather uninteresting life though, it is much more peaceful these days.
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1 comment:
Peaceful is good though I totally understand the when we get worked up the muses tend to hover.
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick
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