I think I might be becoming depressed. It could also be just the remnants of my illness but I'm sleeping a lot, lethargic always, feeling down and not even a little excited about Christmas.
I am dreading the drive to my mother in law's in Dayton. I'm dreading the time spent there with my in-laws. I'm dreading how my husband always acts and treats me around them.
I am mourning the loss of something I can never have but something that gets dangled in front of me from time to time.
I haven't put any time into getting my business off the ground - I blame this on being sick but this week I could be working on it and instead yesterday I got up at 9:00 and surfed the net for about an hour and then went back to bed until 12:30. I got up the 2nd time and made lunch, then laid in bed watching TV all afternoon until I had to go to the restaurant at 5pm.
I need a kick in the pants I guess. I'm here all day accomplishing nothing. My house is a cluttered mess. My heart is just not in anything lately.