Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Things are catching up with me...

I think I might be becoming depressed. It could also be just the remnants of my illness but I'm sleeping a lot, lethargic always, feeling down and not even a little excited about Christmas.

I am dreading the drive to my mother in law's in Dayton. I'm dreading the time spent there with my in-laws. I'm dreading how my husband always acts and treats me around them.

I am mourning the loss of something I can never have but something that gets dangled in front of me from time to time.

I haven't put any time into getting my business off the ground - I blame this on being sick but this week I could be working on it and instead yesterday I got up at 9:00 and surfed the net for about an hour and then went back to bed until 12:30. I got up the 2nd time and made lunch, then laid in bed watching TV all afternoon until I had to go to the restaurant at 5pm.

I need a kick in the pants I guess. I'm here all day accomplishing nothing. My house is a cluttered mess. My heart is just not in anything lately.


sunshine said...

So sorry to hear this Tricia.
I'm not in the holiday spirit at all either. I think it's a difficult time of year for a lot of people.

I hope that your spirits lift soon and that things go well at your in laws....


Queen-Size funny bone said...

its okay to be not okay sometimes. I find in my situation that pretending everything is happy go lucky is just exhausting.

verybadcat said...

I think that so many of us have more year left than heart and hope. Hang in there. *hugs*

Meghan said...

I find Christmas is such a stressful time, you'll get through the season.Hugs.

Teresa said...

Big hugs to you Tricia! I totally understand everything your are saying. Thankfully I don't have to drive to the in-laws, so if they tick me off I'll just walk the 7 miles home. As for the business, you have to do it in your own time. If your heart isn't in it, you won't be happy with the end result.

Sending some happy vibes your way!

Layne said...

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I'm sure part of it is your illness but there are most likely other things going on too- Pete's health issues, fighting the VA stuff, the fact that it's winter and Christmas, unemployment issues, etc.

I think there are a lot of us that are struggling right now for a lot of reasons.

Hang in my friend.