Dear Readers...

It amazes me how many of you there are now. In just 5 short months I went from having 2 readers (VBC and Meghan) to having lots and lots of you. Of course like everyone else I have a little stats counter that shows me where you are all coming from and most of my traffic comes from comments left on other blogs or google reader for my regulars.

There is one IP address that shows up about 4-5 times a day - but this particular reader never comments. And they live close to me, almost too close for comfort. I wonder if this person knows me, or my husband. But they remain anonymous and that is okay, I won't try to drive them out of hiding by posting their location or anything. :)

Because my good friend Linda over at Brain Cheese did this today and I've been contemplating it for awhile I decided today's the day. SO here you go - search terms that find my blog:

• Smirnoff Wild Grape - and several other variations including one that says "How old to buy Smirnoff Ice"
  
• "What type of test did they do to find out who was a witch in the middle ages." this from a one time hit from a domain in Australia. Hmmm - wonder who they are trying to pin the witch flag on?
• Middle Age YIKES! pretty much sums up my feeling about it too.
• Picture of muscular middle age man - for what?
  

So there you have it - the 4 top searches that find my website on this Wednesday afternoon. Now back to your regularly scheduled afternoon.

Keeping my fingers crossed...

Talked to friend (and boss from former company) who's opinion I respect and she agreed that this was a good way to approach the fact that my promised 6 month raise never happened. So I sent this off to my new boss this morning (officially started reporting to him yesterday). So now keeping my fingers crossed. But I do believe this will be made right. Here's the message I sent him:

Boss,

My six month anniversary was 4/15/08 and OldBoss did give me my review on the 21st. However no mention was made of a salary increase. When I was hired by OldVP he had told me I would receive a nice bump in salary after 6 months of employment.

I assume with the change in reporting structure and title from Account Coordinator under OldBoss to Database Account Manager under you that this has just fallen through the cracks, so I wanted to bring it to your attention.

I’d be happy to stop by to discuss if you’d like.

Thanks,
Tricia

Terrible Tuesday

Found out that my husband is being a total fucktard again. I don't want to go into a lot of details here but he has really put me through the wringer this past year and it looks like he might be getting ready to do it again.

How do I know this? Well it's because I'm a horrible snooping wife. I need to stop the snooping because it just causes me horrible internal angst. But he is the one who initially ruined the trust, and caused me to feel like I had to keep tabs on him. So I blame him for causing me to be a snoop in the first place.

So what am I going to do? If I let him know I'm on to him he will just hide it better and I'll be in the dark and he'll act like I'm the bad guy in all of this, which maybe I am. The lack of trust certainly shows in other areas of our relationship and maybe I'm driving him away.

Today I'm just sad, and confused, a bit lonely and somewhat nauseous. Not necessarily looking for opinions or advice (since I didn't really share details you'd be shooting in the dark anyway) but just feeling down and felt like pouring out a bit of it here.

Manic Monday - Ramblings

First of all - MY CAR IS BACK IN THE GARAGE! ARGH - on Friday the 18th I had to take it in for a loud engine noise that turned out to be something stripped and flipping around on the starter. They kept it until Tuesday the 22nd and I expected all to be well. Then this morning I turned the key and nothing happened! (well lights came on and things dinged and the radio was blaring, but the car did not start) After turning the key about 15 times with the same result I called the dealership. Not a happy camper but they told me to call Roadside Assistance and have it towed in. So I did - and that was an experience worthy of blogging about - the tow truck driver was approximately 20 years old? Maybe 22-25 but YOUNG, and he took the most indirect, backasswards way of taking my car to the dealer I can possibly imagine. He went at least 10-15 miles out of his way, he took the worst roads imaginable, he refused to take interstate routes and insisted on going straight through the heart of Schenectady going up State Street to the dealer. From my house it is about 40 miles to the dealer, if I was driving it would have taken no more than 50 minutes, we left my house at 9am and got to the dealer at 10:20. UGH Now I'm waiting to hear back as to what crazy thing is now wrong with my BRAND FREAKING NEW CAR that should be having no such problems. :(

Second of all - my house is clean, not spotless but clean. The maid came for 4 hours on Saturday, she thoroughly cleaned both bathrooms and the kitchen. She did a good job in the bathrooms and the kitchen. She also "dusted" in my bedroom. The "quotes" are because she did not pick up the doilies or remove anything and dust underneath. She did not use pledge but just used the dampened cloth she had used to clean the mirrors, damp with WINDEX - on my wood! (hubby saw her do this) And she did not dust the base or sides at all and they were dusty. While she did bathrooms and kitchen I dusted all wood furniture in living room and dining room, I moved all the furniture away from the walls and vacuumed under and behind. I washed the windows in the living room. I moved the furniture back and vacuumed the rest of the room. I also took all the animals aside and used the deshedding comb and brush on them to try and prevent future hair problems but they are still shedding like crazy (it's that time of year). So the maid is coming back this week, she did tell me that I should give her direction for how I want things done, and if she isn't doing something to my liking to tell me as she is not sensitive. So I probably won't mention the WINDEX incident but I will ask her to use Pledge on all wooden surfaces and to please remove everything and dust then put it back. Seems like common sense to me? But then I am often guilty of dusting around things when in a hurry, but I don't do this for a living either. So we'll see - if she truly is not sensitive and takes direction well then she may work out. If not well there are other options.

And finally - work related - I have been here for six months and had my review last week. It was excellent. When I was hired I was told I would get a raise at the six month mark. Payday is Wednesday and no one has mentioned it to me. Also I have been given a new job opportunity and am finally free to start working on it more full time and my new title is a promotion without a doubt. So, do I wait until Wednesday and see no raise in my paycheck? Do I address it now? And who on earth do I address it to? My "old" boss who gave me the review? His boss, the VP who hired me and made the promise? Or my new boss who gave me the higher titled position? I'm leaning toward the VP that made the promise - but he is someone I find a bit intimidating so talking to him is "scary" LOL. EEEKS? I can't do nothing? I've earned this raise, truly I have and I want it now. If no one turned in a pay increase for me then there's no way it will happen this pay period anyway so maybe I should just wait till Wednesday and then mention it as I'm leaving for the day (Thursday and Friday are going to be vacation days for me). I'm so bad at this type of thing!

Wicked Wednesday...

Not feeling particularly wicked anymore! I hired a maid who is coming this Saturday to do spring cleaning with me as I will probably work along side of her as there is so much to do. My current mood can best be described as ECSTATIC! And I am in this weird twilightzonelike place where everything is a great deal. The gym $20 a month. The housekeeper $15 an hour! Can you believe it? I'd pay twice that just to not have to do it myself!

So I'm feeling wicked awesome (is that too 80's?) about my good luck lately!

Some wicked cool things I'd like to do now that housework doesn't have to be a weekly chore for me:

• Scrapbooking - have had the stuff for YEARS and no time to work on it. Although I might find my passion for that has died out a bit over time.
• More gardening! Planting flowers and veggies is more interesting than scrubbing toilets to me.
• Enjoying my freshly cleaned house without having to put in the elbow grease to get it that way!

Okay I just wanted to thank everyone that encouraged me to do this and let you know how great it's working out so far.

American Bloggers - 50 Blogs in 50 States

I'm going to add myself to this list! Drum up some traffic and read some new blogs. Thanks for sharing Maxie! :)

Here's the link for anyone who wants to be a joiner too! :) --> American Bloggers

If I have time I'll be back with a Wicked Wednesday later because I really have my sass on today!

I give up...

I know Meghan will be glad of this news because she's been after me to just do this for several years. I am standing in my house - contemplating spring cleaning with a feeling of total despair coming over me. I cannot possibly get it all done before hubby's best friend and his wife arrive on May 1st. You would think 2 weeks would be enough time to clean a house but you would be wrong.

It's an ongoing battle and I've let clutter accumulate so over the winter that I have 2 full days just to clean out the spare room so they have someplace to sleep. I plan to cram most of that decluttering into one afternoon - TODAY. It has to be done, HAS TO!

Then I will also run the vacuum because it's way over due through the entire house. But my house needs major cleaning - kitchen, bathrooms, floors, baseboards, woodwork, furniture. Easily a weeks worth of chores if I wasn't going to work.

I. CANNOT. DO. THIS!

So I'm breaking down - calling the cleaning lady who's name I have had for over a year. Please internet friends - PRAY that she is accepting new clients and can get started this week. PRAY HARD!

I. GIVE. UP!

Flashback Friday - Internet Dating a love story...

The most eventful year of my life so far was 1997 – it was the year I turned 27. It was the year my career took off. It was the year I met my husband.

It starts in May when the guy I had been dating for just 6 months but was head over heels for broke my heart. Shattered. It. I fell into a deep depression and didn’t eat more than a few bites at a time for over a month, I would come home from work and hop on my bike and ride 10 miles it was the only time I wasn’t crying or totally numb. Combine – very little food – lots of exercise for the endorphins and one overweight girl and I quickly dropped 50lbs. By July I was looking pretty good and feeling better about myself too. It was time to start dating again.

I placed a personal ad on Yahoo Personals – this was back in the day when it was free and thus loaded with a lot of CRAP and filtering through it all was difficult. So here was my ad (at least the best I can remember over 10 years later):

Single, White, Female (with 2 cats)
My grandmother tells me that a woman living alone with 2 cats will NEVER find a man. So who wants to prove her wrong? (of course it was attached to my profile with a picture and other vital details like my age, height, hair color, body type, etc)

You would not believe the freaks that came out of the woodwork for this ad. I went on three dates and I will describe them each to you.

Date#1 – After a few emails and one phone call we agree to meet at Don Pablo’s at Harpers Point (this is in Cincinnati) and since his profile has no picture he tells me he will look for me since he knows what I look like. He told me he was 30 years old 6’ tall and muscular. I see him as soon as I walk through the door. I consider turning around and walking back out. He is more like 40 years old. He is 5’8” at most and is wearing cowboy boots with an extra 2” in the heel. He is not muscular, he is FAT. I am not prejudiced against guys with extra weight. I am however prejudiced against LIARS! But he spots me and I’m not brave enough to just blow him off and leave. So we sit down and eat, ah well free dinner right? Nope, I offer to pay half and he LETS ME! Then when we are done he asks me if I want to go to a movie or to a bar to hang out (it’s 7pm?) and it’s time to be brutally honest, I just say NO and tell him I need to get home as I have to work the next day and then I run to my car to get out so he can’t follow me.

Okay they can’t all be that bad right?

Date#2 – He’s from Kentucky and I’m from northern Cincinnati so we agree to meet at Uno’s in Clifton as it’s sort of central for us. He has not misled me – he looks just like his picture, he’s tall and attractive. We get our seats and start talking. And this is where things go south. This guy was a widower – at 28 years old he was a widower. His wife and baby daughter had both been killed in a tragic car accident about a year prior. We hadn’t even ordered yet and he was SOBBING at the table telling me about it. I felt horrible for him, but talk about uncomfortable. Clearly if he can’t talk about it without a total meltdown then he is NOT ready to date. Somehow we make it through the food and it comes time to get out of there. He walks me to my car like a gentleman and then leans in for a kiss, I quickly avert and it lands on my cheek. Then he asks me if I would like to go out with him again? I tried to be kind as I said “no offense, but I don’t think you’re ready for this.” Even if things might have worked out there was no way I wanted to live in the shadow of a dead wife.

Third time’s the charm right?

Date#3 – He’s from Columbus, this is about 80 miles from where I live so must be carefully planned. We talk a lot on the phone and instant messenger. Finally he makes the trip down and stays with friends in my area. He had sent me several pictures and described himself as a body builder type. Normally not my type but he really seemed nice. Turns out the pictures were old – he looked like a body builder that had stopped working out and turned into the Michelin Man type. But he was still kinda cute and so even though he was more fat than muscular and was losing a lot more hair than the picture showed I thought I’d give him a shot. We went out twice. Then I started getting strange emails in my Yahoo account. I thought it was some weirdo. I would tell him about it online and on the phone. The emails talked about where I lived and where I worked and they said someone was watching me. I freaked out a bit. Finally I figured out by some of the details that it was this guy I had dated twice and we had planned a third. I confronted him – he denied. He was taking the police exam and wanted to be an officer – I told him I had reported these weird emails and that my ISP tracked them to Columbus and were notifying the Columbus PD. He FREAKED out thinking I was going to ruin his changes at becoming a police officer. That was the end of him.

I took down the damn ad. INSANE! I stopped looking online and started hanging in clubs – had a few doozy dates that way too.

Then in the end of August, about a month after the ad was pulled, I got a tentative email that said: “I replied to your ad about the cats last month and then my hard drive crashed and I lost all my emails so I don’t know if you emailed me back. I have a cat of my own.” I literally laughed out loud and thought – wow this guy is lame. But I emailed him back, told him about my dating disasters and we started sharing jokes. Then we started playing an online game together called Acrophobia – we flirted heavily in the chat box. We started talking on the phone sometimes. The game had ad’s between sets and many were for movies – we talked about getting together for a movie.

Finally on Tuesday, December 16th 1997 we met for dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse. He was cute. He was shy. He was smart. I wasn’t really sure he was interested in me – I did most of the talking because he was so quiet. I must have mentioned that the following night I was going to be playing pool at a certain bar as part of my league. I didn’t tell him where it was but the next night who should walk into the bar? It was him. Friday he met me for lunch. Friday night he took me out to Olive Garden and to a movie (one of the Scream films?). He took me home Friday night and gave me a sweet kiss at the door and said goodnight. He called me on Saturday to see what I was doing. I made something up – was kinda freaked at how much time we’d spent together in that first week. I went out dancing with some friends just so I wasn’t available. Sunday he asked me to come to his apartment for pizza and a movie. I had a lot of errands to run as it was nearly Christmas but I agreed. I showed up in a baggy old sweatshirt, jeans and my hair in a ponytail. We ate pizza, we watched movies, we listened to music, we made out for hours. We ah did more. I left his apartment at 6am to go home and get ready for work. I was in LOVE!  We became joined at the hip for awhile – moved in together in March 1998 – it was too soon, nearly ruined us. I moved back out in August 1999 and lived on my own for 6 months – he missed me. He chased again. He proposed. I moved back in and on November 11, 2000 I married that guy. I still love him. We still have the three cats! :)

I've discovered Smirnoff Ice - Wild Grape

Hubby's cousin introduced me to this fabulous malt beverage on Sunday night. I consumed a "few" of them and they taste just like grape soda from the very first sip. Dangerous because you would never know there was a drop of alcohol in them and I could drink quite a few. On Monday night they offered me more of these lovely beverages while we ate pizza and vegged out after the funeral. After 2 of these I am a bit buzzed (because I am a total lightweight when it comes to alcohol) and I have to pee - really badly!!!!

So I have a choice - upstairs to the bathroom that is under construction and I'm not really sure where it is in their house - OR downstairs to the full bath in the basement which I have used many times in past visits. I decide to go with what I know and head down the stairs. It's dark, these are narrow basement stairs but I make it down and around and am heading for the home stretch. This bathroom is in a new section under an addition and so it's not at the same level. I know there are steps down from old level to new level. I know that if I feel around the corner I might find the light switch but the bathroom light is on way off in the distance so I figure I'll just follow it. I start down the steps - there are two - this is what I was thinking.

WRONG - as I step down to what I think is the floor I start to move more quickly toward the bathroom (did I mention I really, really have to pee?) but SHIT there's another step and I realize this as I am sliding across the concrete floor on my face. My head knocks into a rocking chair and sends it sliding away. I come to a stop, wind knocked out of me, totally disoriented, and yet surprisingly it seems unhurt? How is this possible? I just landed on my left knee and forearm before sliding on my face/chest and am now 6 feet across the room from where I started.

I test the waters slowly - arm seems okay, getting up on knees - OUCH - knee is a little tender let's try the other one - it's okay. Can I stand? Yes I can, so I get up and continue to the bathroom do my business and head back upstairs. On the way I put the rocking chair back where it started and I don't say a word when I get back up there.

Other than a small bruise and what looks like rug burn from my jeans I guess on my knee, I'm just fine! I guess it was that ragdoll drunk thing that kept me from breaking something in that fall. I attribute both the fall and my lack of injuries to the lovely Smirnoff Ice Wild Grape. To prevent future injuries I bought a 6 pack last night at the grocery since I'll never stop being a total klutz that much is certain.

Now for some good news!

My husband had his first neurologist appointment yesterday since starting the Tysabri. His last visit was in November when the Doc took him off Betaserone and prescribed the Tysabri. The good news - he has improved! After a pretty thorough physical exam that checks strength as well as standard reflexes we sat down to talk with the doctor. He told us that hubby's reflexes had improved since November and were basically normal where in November they were sluggish. His gait has not improved however and this is hubby's largest area of concern. Doc said after watching him walk down the hall and back that his opinion is that hubby's balance is off and so he is compensating for that with a wider stance that gives him more stability but that this type of gait keeps the muscles constantly contracted and will tire him out in no time at all. So - he is continuing the Tysabri and we are going to get him an appointment with a Physiologist that works at the MS Clinic at the Rehabilitation Hospital where his doctor also works. He said that he can "retrain" hubby to walk with a more normal gait and help alleviate some of his problems.

So that is the MS update - it's good news - after only 3 doses of Tysabri he is showing improvement and it can only get better from here! Today I feel hopeful, I believe he will get better, I am happy.