It has not been a year to write home about. Some very bad things have happened. Some good things have not happened. But all in all I am still here, we are still together, I am still fighting the good fight.
Tomorrow is a day for family. I am thankful that my mother's big scare was her gallbladder and not her heart as was first thought. I am glad that tomorrow I will be with my husband, my parents, my sister, my adorable nephews.
I am quite sure that it will not be my happiest Christmas not by a long shot. Some days I feel I'm hanging on by a thread to a shadow of my former self.
Maybe in 2009 I can finally realize that focusing on me is not selfish but an absolute MUST. That getting into better shape both physically and emotionally is way past due. Maybe I can finally do everything that I should to make my life what I want it to be.
My Christmas present to myself is permission to just let go and allow myself to just be me for a change.
Merry Christmas to all my readers. I appreciate the support and feedback you have all given me over the past year. And to the special few who have really become a part of my life in a very real way - I consider you more than internet friends, I consider you true friends and without you I'd be lost right now. You know who you are and I appreciate you very much.
I think it's time to lay off the red wine and head to bed - lots to do tomorrow!
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3 comments:
Wishing you all the best in the coming year...you deserve it!
Linda D. in Seattle
Awww, I'm sorry you're feeling down Tricia...please be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you are beating yourself up, and you don't deserve that! I know this year has been a struggle for you and Pete financially since his job loss, and it has to be scary. You are doing the best you can. These are tough economic times, and too many friends have lost jobs, it is anxiety producing for all of us - but thank goodness for family, friends and the simple things like warmth, food, a place to live. I ran into a homeless guy coming home from the city Sunday night who was asking people to buy him mashed potatoes at KFC. He didn't look like a drunk or as if he was a druggie, so I went back and gave him the only cash I had with me ($100 bill). Long story, but a succession of events that night made it feel like I was supposed to do that. I can't even imagine being so desperate that I'm in a train station in the bitter cold and snow and begging for KFC mashed potatoes, we are truly lucky, lucky people! In any case, I digress, what I am getting around to is that I hope you keep believing and having faith in yourself. You and Pete can survive this and you are a remarkable, intelligent and resourceful person - you can do anything you set your mind to. Please just be kind and forgiving of yourself along the way, and don't feel you have to do everything at once. *big hug* A very warm and merry Christmas to you and yours!
I hope you had a great Christmas filled with family and friends and know you're in my thoughts for the New Year to come. Thanks for becoming a blog friend over the year :)
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