Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What happens in Vegas...

Should definitely stay in Vegas! Unless you are me - then you do crazy things in Vegas while on business trips with co-workers and it becomes the stuff of legends by the time you get back to the office.

Before I start with the story let me tell you that this happened in November 1997 when I was hopelessly young and desperately single.

I worked for the textbook publishing company and was in Las Vegas for some giant trade show that catered to teachers who by the way are insanely crazy people when not torturing little children with said textbooks. I had my own room at the Las Vegas Hilton and was there with approx 10 of my co-workers the majority of whom were also in their mid to late 20's and ready to party for the entire 5 days we were there. Traveling to Vegas on an expense account is great - fabulous dinners, free flowing booze, free room, and only 6 hours a day that I was expected to be "working". We started out strong with about 3 hours of sleep on the first night and it only got worse from there! We stayed up until the wee hours riding roller coasters, watching fountains erupt, pirate ship shows, wandering around picking up random cards from hookers (to see who could get the most) and doing everything but gambling (we were all rather poor and gambled away our spare change on day 1).

By the last night there I think I had a permanent blood alcohol level of WASTED. We went to the Motown Cafe for dinner - a group of about 8 including one single sales rep that I had an amazing crush on. I started out with Top Shelf Long Island Iced Tea in a 23oz Beer Glass (souvenir of course) and things just went downhill from there. The place was HUGE - had to be about 300-400 people packed in there and it was karoke night! I don't know if I've ever mentioned it but when I'm drunk I fancy myself to be quite the diva and it didn't take much for my friends to convince me that I should TOTALLY sign up and sing. After my 2nd 23 oz Top Shelf Long Island I was able to drag my tongue off the table long enough to agree with them but not long enough to pick a song but never fear - my friendly co-workers took care of that for me.

About an hour and a 3rd drink later I heard my name over the speakers - WHAT? Why were they calling me and more importantly how did I get on this stage and were those fuzzy blobs out there really people staring at me? Then the music starts and the words are on the screen in front of me - a microphone is in my hand and I start singing - I Will Always Love You - the Whitney Houston version. I was starting to sober up - I think it was the adreneline - and I was horrified. I stumbled through and finally exited the stage by missing the last step and falling flat on my face, thankfully my co-workers dragged me up and out and thank GOD I didn't have to go back to the table. They all told me I sang beautifully. I'm sure they all lied through their teeth, I could hardly hear the music, I was barely able to stand, and the words kept blurring before my eyes.

As we exited the restaurant there was a vintage convertable behind velvet ropes filled with wax dummies of the Four Tops I think? A nice big sign said "DO NOT TOUCH" and somewhere there is a picture of me laying across the hood holding the sign in my teeth. Unfortunately I am no longer in possession of said picture (I might have burned it?) but it made the rounds at my office along with the entire brutal story once I got back. Sexy sales guy I had a crush on avoided me like the plague after my performance and I have a vague recollection of perhaps dedicating the song to him?

There are reasons why I don't drink like that anymore (other than wanting to keep my liver) and the desire to avoid complete and utter self humiliation is at the top of the list! If you want further proof of why I shouldn't drink - try reading this one.

Thankfully just about 3 weeks after this crazy week in Vegas I met my now husband and my life started to settle down.

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9 comments:

Queen-Size funny bone said...

oh that sounds like lots of fun. wish I was there. what a shame you lost the photo (even if it was in a fire.)

Shieldmaiden96 said...

This is why none of the CSRs from my previous company were ever allowed to go to the corporate conference, held each year in a city just boring enough to encourage binge drinking and Fabulous Baker Boys-type performances across the hotel lobby piano. But we always heard stories about some well known employee of variable popularity ending up ass over teacups in a potted plant and/or sticking her tongue in a CEOs ear. Who was dismissed shortly after returning.

Tricia said...

Thankfully my exploits didn't get me fired - but I was somewhat of a legend for awhile! :) I left of my own accord about 2 years later for a better job. I have stories from that one too sales meetings were big drunken love fests - but will save for another flashback post. :)

verybadcat said...

Oh my hell, that was funny. You could give 23 23oz. Long Island Iced Teas and I still wouldn't be drunk enough to think I could sing, but if somehow I were to be convinced? It would be a performance for the ages. My luck? I would pick some vintage Madonna. Like a virgin, maybe? And this is why I don't like drinking a lot with coworkers.

Hilarious!

Meghan said...

Ohmigod. That's horrible. And awesome. And I want to see that picture!

Kristabel said...

Hee hee hee.... fabulous! Thanks for the great laugh first thing this morning!

remember moments said...

Ha! That's a great story. I found ur blog thru the 30-somethings group.

deutlich said...

this doesn't have much to do with your actual post - and I'm sorry for that - but I wanted to say that I ABSOLUTELY ADORE your header picture!

Tricia said...

deutlich - thanks! that is my back yard from fall - I never got around to replacing it with the winter picture. Hmmm - I would do it now but too depressed at another month of winter to think about it.