Thursday, January 20, 2011

Just wishing for life to be easier all around...

The job is a job, the weather is depressing, the status of my marriage is still in limbo land, we are trying but there is a lot to overcome and I feel like he's not trying as hard as he should. Overall I am just feeling blah.

Husband tells me to quit my job - we probably COULD afford it but where does that leave me if this relationship rescue goes south? With no income and totally dependent on him? I'm not ready for that.

Husband wants to go on a vacation - we definitely can afford it but I don't have any time at work. He wants me to ask for unpaid time and frankly while they would probably give it to me I have to wonder what makes me entitled when no one else is? I'm not asking for unpaid time to take care of a medical issue, or a child, I'd be asking for unpaid time to go on a cruise, or to the beach. I just don't know if I can ask for that, feels weird. :(

I want the husband to take me seriously, to really do what he said he would do and stop pushing limits. I want him to realize that this is our last chance and not think I'll cave and give in like I have a hundred times before if he blows it off this time.

I want to be happy, desperately happy, I want it more than anything and it feels so far out of my grasp.

4 comments:

Queen-Size funny bone said...

it makes me sad because i know how it feels. Hope things get better really I do.

K13 said...

Ugh...sorry to hear...I can understand the feeling of happiness being out of your grasp though!!

Laura said...

So sorry sweetie. :(
I really hope things get better soon. Just stay strong and remember that you are NOT wrong for wanting happiness. Whatever happens, we're here for you!

((Hugs))
Laura

ain't for city gals said...

Hi I came over from Love at Home...a good book is the The Power of Now by Echert Tolle (sp?)...helps you figure out what you need to do and how to do it for what is important in your life...