Friends, I need to complain. I need to gripe, grouse, whine, cry and SCREAM. I am hitting a wall today in a big way and I don't know which way to turn.
My husband got a wild hair today about his Tysabri infusions - he has decided that it is just too inconvenient for him to drive the 35 miles to the infusion center to have this treatment and started looking for alternatives. He has called his doctor and left a message, called an in home infusion company to see if he could get it set up in home. I told him that Tysabri is restricted and can only be given at authorized infusion centers. BUT some little bimbo who doesn't know what she is talking about at the infusion center told him sure they could do it so now he is accusing me of not being on his side.
I tried to explain to him what I know - he accuses me of hiding things from him because he doesn't remember how hard I fought to get this all set up in January. He is so pessimistic at the best of times but today for some reason he is worse. He sent me a long email that included this line: "Is it time for me to just give up? Is it time for me just to say goodbye and alleviate the trouble from everyone else who treats me and worries about me?" What am I supposed to do about this? Part of me thinks he's just having a big ole pity party and part of me wants to have him admitted on a psych hold because I worry he might be a danger to himself. Of course he would not forgive me for something like that.
He is convinced he is going to get fired for using too much time - BUT he has been approved for FMLA on an intermittent basis so legally they cannot fire him. He won't believe me.
His memory is shot, he is not making reasonable and rational decisions. The MS is taking away some cognitive function and I see it but he doesn't. He fights every step but he's not winning and I watch and can't do a thing. I have spent the past 3 hours trying not to cry. I have work to do - it's not getting done.
By the time I get home tonight he'll be acting like nothing ever happened. Meanwhile my heart is breaking. This sucks.