Pre-Thanksgiving Blow-up

I had a rough day today - busy, busy, busy, stress, stress stress. We got dismissed early today at 3:30 and I had another 2 hours of work to do but had to leave to not make my car pooler's wait when they were ready to go. So I left - came home and logged in to keep working and my husband started picking the minute I came in the door.

He made me leave in the middle of a report to go get something to eat which I did to keep the peace. On the drive he criticized me and my family saying we had no self control and this is why we are all overweight. I told him to stop picking on me because I had a bad day. He sort of did for a few.

Then we get home and he wants to know why I'm working again. I explain that this report was really due Monday and we were having issues and I wanted to get it done so I could send it tonight and feel like it's off my shoulders for now. He brings the dog in my office and they play on the floor and keep knocking my chair and making me screw up what I was doing (selecting rows in an excel sheet). I asked him to stop.

Then he turns on every freaking light in the house and gets nasty when I go behind him turning lights off. He goes into the bedroom and is watching a movie, when I come in he starts in on the housekeeper and how she needs to do something different. I told him that I told her to do it that way. He makes a snide comment and when I mimic it back to him he gets nasty and tells me that if I do that again "WE WILL GET DIVORCED!" I just walked out of the room.

BUT what I wanted to say is FINE - go ahead! Divorce me - I DON'T NEED YOU! You should be thankful that I love you and want you here because I don't NEED you. He needs me - no two ways about it, I do freaking everything in this house and now I make all the money too. He is home all day every day and is barely lifting a finger - he will empty the dishwasher and reload it or the occasional load of laundry. I am still paying my housekeeper to come each week because I know he will not do what she does for me. My job provides his health insurance which pays for his incredibly expensive Tysabri infusions. My job pays for the house, the cars, all the expenses.

I don't want to rub in how much he needs me because I am sure his crabby nitpicking mood has to do with his unemployed status and he is starting to get depressed. I just don't understand why when you get down you bite the hand that feeds you.

I'm trying to understand - I'm trying not to take the bait - That being said if he keeps this shit up I will take my thanksgiving down to my mom's and leave him alone here with his leftover pizza and himself for company tomorrow.