It doesn't work anymore. He throws it in there and I start thinking of how my life could be if I didn't have to be a constant caregiver to someone who treats me with disrespect and disdain. I start to think about doing what I want and going where I want and only having myself to worry about.
I still don't plan to divorce him - but that word no longer has the power to reduce me to a quivering mess of tears. I won't plead. I won't cry. If he insisted and left today I would miss what we had long ago - but I already miss that.