Monday, May 5, 2008

Presumptuous...

So it's Monday - hubby's best friend from high school and his wife were here for a 5 day weekend. They came Thursday around noon and are leaving tonight at 6:30. It's been a LONG weekend. Don't get me wrong, I like them a lot but having guests in your home for 5 days is tiring. Today I'm at work, so is my husband, they are at my house alone. I thought they were flying out this morning. We told them we couldn't take a lot of time off but I guess this was a cheaper flight.

We hung around the house Thursday night - I cooked for them. Friday while hubby was at work I was set to take them sight seeing - they didn't want to go anywhere so we sat at home all day. I could have gone to work, but it was nice to not have to. Friday night we all went out with some friends of mine and got drunk, sang karaoke, and had a good time. But in their drunkenness on Friday night some things came out that they may not even remember telling me. They told me that they already bought our Christmas present - tickets to come spend Christmas with them and not to tell my hubby. At the time I was a bit drunk too and didn't say much but promised not to tell.

But the more I think about it the more it kind of irks me that they would be that presumptuous. We both have families, we take turns spending Christmas with them. Last year we were with his family, this year with my family. I don't want to give up Christmas with my family! :( Also hubby's mom has mentioned she may come here for Christmas - she has NEVER been here (we've lived here 3 years) and it would mean a lot to him for her to visit. If his mom decides to come there is no way he would blow her off like that. Part of me wants to talk to them about this but the other part wants to hide my head in the sand and pretend they never said it. Seriously though we have to make at least twice as much as they do and I want to tell them we can buy our own tickets and a more appropriate gift might be a bottle of wine or some movie tickets and not $600+ worth of airfare over a holiday we'd rather spend with family.

They also told me numerous times - that should he ever need anything to call them and he'd be here to take care of it. My instant reaction was to shout - THAT'S MY JOB!!!! But instead I told them that we had things well under control and the only thing he needed from them was friendship.

So the weekend was fun - the men picked up where they left off (and acted like teenagers a bit to boot) and I clicked with his wife too. They can be good friends for us both with some time, but they are pushing a bit too hard and my first instinct when someone does that is to push back.

9 comments:

Caiti said...

Eek! That's a bit of a pickle. Maybe it would be best to tell them now, and possibly get the tickets refunded? I'm not exactly knowledgeable about these flight things =]

Meghan said...

I agree with Caiti, dealing with it now will prob lead to alot less confusion/drama near Christmas.

I hope the weekend went well otherwise :)

Tricia said...

My other fear would be that my hubby will figure we see my family all the time and if his mom is not coming he'll want to go! I hate being away from my family at Christmas but I go be with his family because that is what spouses do. But visiting friends was different and should be saved for other times.

So my one saving grace may be that on Saturday hubby was calling his mom and she mentioned on the phone again coming here for Christmas. They heard it and I saw a look pass between them. They didn't look my way and I didn't look theirs and I think they forgot that they told me. Maybe hearing that his mom may be coming will change their plan?

Anyway, I'm just too tired to think through it all now. I know they mean well - and she doesn't have any family left and he is not close to his so perhaps it didn't occur to them that we might want to be with family? Still surprise tickets for the holidays is only appropriate if the person really wants to be there and can't afford it. At least that's how I feel about it.

verybadcat said...

That's freaky. Just freaky. :)

Tricia said...

I think they are latching on because they scared all their other friends away with their over the top intensity! LOL Some distance and a bit of time. There's no way they bought those tickets yet (would be over $1000 right now) so we'll have a nicely but firmly worded email exchange where I suggest another time for us to visit.

BRAINCHEESE said...

BREATHE...

Oh, and step away from the gun, too! LOL

Linda D. in Seattle

pessimisticredhead said...

Sounds like maybe they're just trying to lock you in for a visit? Urgh. Maybe they won't remember they told you and you can casually drop in an email, "Hubby is so excited his mom is coming for Christmas!"

mdmhvonpa said...

2 words ... "Oh POO!"

Meghan said...

Ugh. I can't stand people like that. I'm dealing with a few (what I consider to be) acquaintances from my old work right now who are being pushy in similar ways so somewhat related issues are a current pet peeve. That is way pushy, anyone sensible with an appropriate sense of boundaries wouldn't plan a holiday visit to their house without making sure the friends didn't have family or other commitments first! Your plan of nicely but firmly insisting you plan another time to visit is a good one!