Thursday, July 31, 2008

Thursday Thirteen - 13 things not to do in the office...

So Really Please Don't:
  1. Talk loud on the phone! You're in a cube farm, learn to speak softly - I don't need to know the details of your prostate exam.
  2. Eat chips all day, crunch, crunch, crunch.
  3. Sleep - dude I can hear you snoring
  4. Fart all the time - seriously BEANO due!
  5. Bring left over fish for lunch - the whole office reeks of it now - bad choice!
  6. Snort when you laugh (unless you are me then it's okay of course!)
  7. Play solitaire at your desk - I'm sure you are on a break but when everyone walking buy can see your screen it just doesn't look good.
  8. Work through lunch every single day and then act like some kind of martyr cause you didn't get a lunch - YOUR CHOICE
  9. Put that extra bounce in your step just because you know those of whose cubes aren't against the wall get bounced like our cube sits on a trampoline. ASSHAT I know you do this on purpose.
  10. Openly search for jobs while at work - at least try to hide it a little?
  11. Decorate every inch of your cube with Mickey Mouse figures, stuffed animals, and pictures your kids drew and expect the rest of us to laud your professionalism.
  12. Leave your personal grooming supplies in the bathroom (hairspray, lotion, etc) and then leave nasty notes that people are using your stuff. Girls - if you leave it on the counter in a public bathroom it's free game, if you don't want to share take it back to your desk!
  13. Put your chinese food containers in your desk trash, this will make the entire office smell like chinese food all day. Have the courtesy to walk your empties to the trash in the kitchen so I don't have to smell General Tso's all day.


Anonymous said...

Amen, sister!

Can we add:

Do not interject yourself into a conversation by admitting that you've been eavesdropping. If I cared what you thought on the matter, I would have consulted you in the first place.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Don't tell stories about your numerous babydaddies and how your life and your detention-bound children constitute a horrifying train wreck that would make Jerry Springer flinch. (I sat next to this person for the longest four months of my life.) NO ONE wants to hear about your minge either. No one even wants to THINK about the fact that you HAVE one.