So...

he has the job. I don't have to kill him.

In other news - my IRA lost $15K in the last 2 weeks. Good thing I don't need to cash it in to live on.

Monday - UGH - is the best I can say right now

I am horribly unmotivated at work and wasting another day doing nearly nothing. My first annual review is less than 2 weeks away and if anyone is paying attention I'm not making a good impression right now. *sigh*

Hubby heard from the contracting company, still stringing him along, today's news is that it's 98% certain that he has the job, just ironing out details and as soon as that is done they will send him the paperwork he will need to fill out before he gets started. It should be a load off - but until they sign on the dotted line I worry. This contract is for a financial institution in NYC - and well Wall Street is MELTING so yeah I keep waiting for the project to be tabled or canceled.

I spend my waking hours waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am depressed, yes, more so than I ever have been before in my life. Saturday afternoon I had to run down to my mom and dad's to get their mail and bring it in. Instead of leaving I sat on their porch swing and cried for about an hour. I didn't really feel better when I was done crying as is usually the case.

I did spend some time with my sister on Sunday and she is the only family member who knows all the details of my hubby's job situation. No one else knows that he actually quit his job without having another lined up. My parents don't know he quit, his family doesn't know he doesn't have the job yet. It's nice to be able to talk about it to someone. We went to a craft show that was kind of a bust but I did buy a new purse that I am in love with right now - it's soft courderoy and so cute! I also bought a pretty scarf that I need to wash before I wear it. When I took it out of the bag at home I realized whoever made it must smoke in their house because it has a stale cigarrette smell. But it's pretty and makes me smile and it was only $8 so DEAL!

Making plans for Friday night with friends - hopefully good news by then so I can enjoy myself. Either Octoberfest (an outdoor festival) or maybe party at my place and liquorfest as plan B in case of weather. Friends are one of my bestest friends - and a guy I work with that I set up with her. So far they are hitting it off and that makes me very happy when I think about it.

Enough - 3 more hours and I can put this day to rest.

The Doors are Open - Come on In...

2 Hot Dishes is ready for company - we have a few basic recipes started and we're ready for company. So come on in and find something for dinner!

In other news...

Still no word on the NYC job. The recruiter keeps touching base, he is positive (but that's his job) and says he may hear something today or early next week. I'm a wreck about it. Hubby only has a job for 1 more week and still nothing is nailed down.

Have not had the conversation about how he's not traveling unless he has a job and how if I have to let my maid go he's the new one. I really don't want to have those conversations. :(

Coming Attractions

A recipe blog for the busy woman. Not a gourmet blog by any means - some of the recipes I will post start with a can of soup or use Velveeta Processed Cheese Food! :) Food Snobs will probably not enjoy. The goal will be:

• Quick and Easy Recipes for week nights when time is short.
• Slow Cooker and Make Ahead Recipes
• Low Fat/Low Cal dishes for the weight conscious
• Main Dishes, Side Dishes & all manner of decadent desserts

I'm very excited that my partner in this endeavor will be none other than the verybadcat herself! I hope her first post will be that very decadent mac & cheese she is perfecting.

So this weekend I intend to devote some fun time to a template and a few starter recipes to kick off the blog - so watch for some great recipes from your favorite "2 Hot Dishes". ;-)

Ho Hum

So this past weekend was hubby's birthday - I had wanted to do it up big and take him somewhere spectacular but then he went and quit his job without lining up a sure thing and so in the interest of preserving funds we stayed home. I did buy him an old fashioned popcorn popper - the kind you see at carnivals only miniature and so cute. He loves popcorn, especially movie theater popcorn which this technically should be close to so I would have expected more excitement but he's depressed and so his reaction was less than spectacular.

Let's see what did we do this past weekend? Friday night we went grocery shopping and to Pizza Hut for dinner - it was less than stellar as I'm sure you can imagine. Then Saturday I did laundry, picked up the house and made apple crisp for dessert and I played online a bit. Hubby laid on the couch until 4pm and took a shower finally and then at 5pm my family came over for hubby's birthday dinner. We had spaghetti and meatballs - one of his favorites. Once we were done eating he retreated to the living room to watch TV while the rest of us stayed out in the dining room talking. He barely spoke to anyone, just moped off by himself. My family doesn't know yet of his impending jobless state. Hoping to announce his new job is a sure thing instead of telling them that he royally screwed up.

After they left I gave him his cards and his gift and he barely got enough excitement together to even say thank you. Then he went to bed around 10pm. Sunday morning I got up, and tackled my day. More laundry, more cleaning, picking veggies from the garden. I also created a nice big square of fenced in area to use as a compost pile in the back corner of our property. I pulled all the dead and dying things out of the garden and picked up all the rotting apples from the back yard tree and dumped them all in there along with the dead/dying hanging baskets and deck pots. In a few years time I'll have some nice soil to use! LOL What did hubby do? He laid on the couch - he ate the rest of his apple crisp (and this is the only thing he ate all day on Sunday) and at 5pm he took a shower and put a movie into the DVD player in the bedroom. Yes he went to bed at 5pm. He did get a few phone calls from his mom, his sister and his best friend to all wish him a happy birthday. But mostly he grumped around in a funk.

His mood is dragging me down too. I feel completely BLAH. No word yet on the job front. I am hoping he gets the call and gets the job, it will help him snap out of this I'm sure. At least the gravity of the situation has dawned on him but I didn't want him to turn into a depressed zombie.

How Liberal or Conservative Are You?

What are your political leanings? With the election looming find out who you most closely align with it may surprise you!

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 70% Conservative, 30% Liberal Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

So...

He didn't necessarily get the job in NYC - he thought he had it because they told him when the start date would be. But they never offered it to him officially - he won't find out until next week after they interview another candidate. UGH - he quit his job because this was a "sure thing" and it's not, it never was and I want to tell him he's an IDIOT.

Then he tells me that if he doesn't get the job he still wants to take some time off because he needs a break. He wants to go visit his mom and his aunts and take some time off. WHAT THE FUCK? He needs a break? He has had 2 breaks already since we have been married - it's my turn to take a fucking break if anyone gets to.

I'm too mad to discuss it tonight so I'm just keeping quiet. I may keep it to myself until next week when I find out if he got the job or not. If he gets it okay I can bite my tongue BUT if he doesn't get it he is not going traveling unless he has a job lined up. If he gets a job he can give them a start date 2 weeks out and go visit his mom IF we are not completely strapped for cash by then.

I did our budget today and if he doesn't find another job until January or February (which is what I expect if he doesn't get this one because it takes time to find a job) we will be seriously broke. I will have to let my housekeeper go, stop contributing to my 401K, cancel the DISH network, cancel the DSL, cancel any hope of a vacation next year, skip buying gifts for anyone for Christmas, etc. We'll be fine for October and run short in November, by the end of December our cushion will be gone and I'll be using my home equity line of credit to pay the bills.

We will have this discussion next week. If he gets in his car and takes off to his moms anyway I'm temped to tell him not to come back.

Just a quick update

Hubby did get the job in NYC - but after today's huge news in the banking world I worry a lot about a job for a bank in NYC. The good news was that he got it - the bad news they don't want him to start until November 3rd. That is 7 weeks away and he already gave 2 weeks notice. So unless he can convince his current (hostile, asshole, prick) boss to keep him on for a few extra weeks we are going to be short 5 weeks of his paychecks. That is going to suck.

And he thinks if he can't keep working it's a good idea to travel instead and visit his family in PA and OH - around 1500 miles of driving with the price of gas crazy high and us being quite a bit short on cash for the month. Don't know how to tell him without being sarcastic and mean that it's just not a good idea.

So I think things will be okay but still not comfortable with the situation.

TGIF - Shopping MeMe

I got this one from Queen Sized Funny Bone play along...

1. Where is your favorite place to shop?

Target, Macy's, Ebay, Amazon, Endless.com, Overstock.com


2. Would you rather shop on-line or in the stores?

Depends - for clothes and shoes I really would rather go to a store so I can try them on but will buy online for a great deal.


3. If you needed new undergarments, but you saw something that you didn’t really need but wanted. Which would you buy?

Hmm - I'd probably buy both! :) I'm spoiled.


4. What really annoys you about other shoppers?

People who write checks! Welcome to the 21st Century - get a freaking debit card and join the rest of us.


5. Have you ever got up to the checkout stand and had a ton of stuff in your cart and after they rang everything up you realized you didn’t have your money, check book, debit card, or credit cards?

Nope - thankfully this has never happened to me. I always have my purse and it always has everything in it.


6. If you buy something that isn’t necessary or something just for fun, do you feel like you have to justify it to yourself or your partner?

Nope - I just don't tell him I bought it and he won't even notice that I got something new.


7. Do you hide those unnecessary things for awhile and then later claim you’ve had them for a long time?

No - but I do sometimes wait until he's busy to bring in shoe boxes from the car. :) I tell him that the shoes are my thing. He has 5 power drills - FIVE - what man needs 5 power drills? And about 20 bit sets for them - SOOOO anytime he says anything about me buying shoes I just say FIVE DRILLS and he shuts up! LOL


Go ahead tell the truth...

When Good Husbands Go Bad...

Seems like a good series idea for the Lifetime Network or at least a movie of the week idea.

My husband is not bad - but today he did something I asked him not to do. He acted in a way that is both selfish and immature. He has heaped a big ole pile of steaming crap (stress) on me with this action.

He had a 2nd technical interview for the contracting position in NYC. He feels that he has the job in the bag. I kind of think he does too and encouraged him to keep his head up because the end is in sight. He expects to hear an offer from them tomorrow or early next week. This would be great.

BUT (you knew there had to be one right?) today he gave his notice at his current job. He does not have an offer yet for the new job, it could still fall through for any number of reasons. A last minute lowball offer by another contracting company. A change in budget for the project. A change in timing of the project. Lots of things outside his control. And if any one of those things or any countless other unknown variable were to stop them from making him this job offer - we are FUCKED!

I would have to cash in IRA accounts and take the hit (both the IRS tax hit and the fact that the stock market is not exactly rosy right now) to keep us afloat for awhile - he has been unemployed TWICE in the 8 years since we have been married, the first time was from April until October 2001 and the second time was from May 2004 until February 2005. The first time he collected unemployement and we are still paying off the credit card we used to survive the 2nd time. If he is unemployed again for more than a few weeks I may kill him.

I specifically told him not to give notice until he had the offer letter in hand. So not only does he not wait for the letter, he didn't even wait for the offer. I know he is miserable and hates his job and his boss BUT I grew to hate my last job too and I waited until I had a signed offer letter in hand to give my notice. Really would it have killed him to wait a few more days?

Learning How to Drive

On June 12, 1986 I turned 16. As was the custom for kids in that time - my mom took me to the DMV to take my permit test after school that day. I passed the written test with flying colors, passed the eye test, and walked out with a piece of paper that said I was allowed to operate a motor vehicle with supervision.

At the time it was the happiest day of my young life thus far. I wanted to drive home but my mother wisely decided we should get out of town before she turned over the wheel of the pickup truck we were driving to me.

Once we hit open and fairly straight road she pulled over and we switched seats. Prior to this I had never driven anything bigger than a garden tractor and even that only 2-3 times ever. Here I was behind the wheel of a 1/2 ton Chevy pickup truck - terrified and delighted at once. I carefully put on my blinker, put my foot on the brake and put the truck in drive. And started to creep towards home.

Keeping that sucker between the lines was not as easy as I thought. My mother (who was younger than I am now) was also very nervous and trying not to startle me by barking commands. Like as cars rushed up to my bumper doing the speed limit and then honked at me as I pulled over to let them pass and some gave me lovely hand gestures. Finally about 5 miles and 20 minutes later my mother said "ENOUGH, for today" and we switched back. Whew! Thankfully I got the hang of things very quickly after that first day. But apparently my dad did not think so.

Every Saturday night we went to my grandparents house, it was a tradition, about 2 months into my driving education I BEGGED to be allowed to drive. Dad reluctantly relented and he sat in the back with my sister while I was behind the wheel with mom beside me. We hadn't even gotten a mile from home when he said "PULL OVER" and then made me switch with him and he continued driving from there.

Funny - it was over 6 years later before my dad would get into the car with me driving again. The next time my dad got into the car with me? He taught me to drive a stick shift. Boy that was a fun day- he took me to a mountain road with a truck lane on the right. Just when I'd finally get the car moving up the hill and hadn't stalled it he said "STOP! do it again" by the time we got to the top of that hill I could start on a hill without rolling back and could start without bucking or stalling.

Maybe dad should have taught me to drive in the first place?

Quick Update

Let's see - my blogging activity will be much lighter since I wrote most of my blogs from work and now I need to really stay offline as much as possible at work. My company rolled out some new internet browsing history reports to managers this week. Now my manager is a VP and hardly has time to check up on people BUT he mentioned it to me before the roll-out in passing and I took it as a warning. I had been spending too much time online at work and now I will be spending very little. My plan is to do little other than check my gmail periodically and look at the news. Wish me luck.

I had a great weekend - Friday night was insanely crazy at the bar we were at with my friend E. There was a nasty older lady there dressed like a skank (come to find out she is a stripper from a seedy place up the road) who whipped up her tiny spandex skirt to reveal - no panties. She did this many times - she made sure everyone saw her nasty bits. It was surreal and we managed to have a good time anyway. Could it be the stray smoke from the bong the guys at the next table were passing wafted into my brain? Saturday was pure laziness, Sunday shopping, Monday played a hooky because I didn't feel well and finally finished that website project - now I need to formulate the bill and make it worth all the agony I put into it.

My friend "K" was hired at my company on my recommendation - she starts Monday. I'm so happy for her as she was laid off effective last Friday. Also happy for me because I get a $500 finders fee for her! WooHoo! I see new shoes and purses in my future. (also she will make a 3rd in our car pool so more $$ saved)

Hubby is going to have a 2nd technical interview this week for the NYC job. I worry horribly about him down there BUT even worse will be the downtrodden, despondent man in my house if he does not get this job. I cannot deal with that again he has just risen from the ashes of the last major depression another would send ME over the edge.

So it's 7:10am - my hair is up in a towel and I'm wearing a robe. I now have 20 minutes to dry and somewhat style my hair and find a suitable set of clothing to wear to work today. Goodbye for now.

TGIF - I think

What a week it's been blogging friends. Hubby has perked up considerably after spending last Sunday with a friend he hadn't seen since 1988 and finding out that he and his wife live so close to us AND we all got along famously. Then getting the call about the contracting job also perked him up.

I have concerns - major concerns about him going to NYC for 4 days a week. I worry that he will be overdoing it physically and set himself back. I worry that he will get lost in NYC because his sense of direction is HORRIBLE. I worry that at the end of the contract he won't find another job right away and we'll be fucked when it comes to money. I worry that they are not offering him enough money for the job. I worry what working as an independant contractor might do to our tax situation. I worry.

He is happier than he has been in months. The idea that he can get away from his current prick of a boss has him happy, happy, happy. He's not thinking long term or big picture. That's my job BUT I don't want to throw a big bucket of cold water on his happy fest.

He did talk to his friend who has worked as a contractor for awhile and he told him that the salary they offered was extremely low for contract work and super low for NYC that they are lowballing him and to demand twice what they initally offered. I was happy with that because I also think they offered him far too little for the type of job they want him to do and for being away from his family all week.

So interview is NOW! (10am EST) then he has to talk to the recruiter/staffing firm again at which time he will mention that he will need much more in the way of salary than the inital number that was thrown out. He undervalues himself but his friend boosted his confidence that he is worth it.

Wish him luck, if this is what it takes to make him stop moping around I guess I will be the dutiful happy wife.

*smiling through gritted teeth*

What makes a work environment hostile?

Well how about a boss that is watching your every move hoping you screw up?

A boss that speaks down to you as if you are a silly child?

A co-worker that calls the boss on his day off to tell him that you did not tell him you were leaving for lunch - when you did find him and tell him before you left? Then the boss calling to yell at you on VM for something you didn't do?

A boss that doesn't thank you for going above and beyond and instead berates you for thinking to work on your day off and threatens to cancel your remote access account if you do it again?

A boss that ignores your request that he put things in writing so you have a written record because your memory isn't always the best and then berates you for forgetting to do things he couldn't be bothered to email you about?

How about a boss that signs off on policies without reading them and then screams at you when you act according to the policy that he approved? And then even worse writes you up for a bad attitude when you walk away rather than yell back at him?

I would call this a hostile work environment - this is what my husband is going through lately. His boss has turned into a first rate prick, hostile and rude. Last Friday when hubby was home sick he accidentally typed my cell number instead of his (1 number different) in his email and his boss called me and was extremely rude to me - then he called hubby and threatened to lock his account if he logged in again to do work. He wasn't kidding - he was being a royal asshole.

So we are trying hard to find hubby a new job. He is going to talk to his 2nd up boss today because she loves him and tell her how his boss is making his life hell and that he is sick about it and dreads coming to work. I told him to mention two things specifically - asking the boss to put things in writing is a reasonable accommodation for someone with a disability - he has MS - his memory isn't good and if it's not in writing he can forget. He has asked for things to be put in writing but the boss rarely does and then berates him if he forgets something. I consider this discrimination. And second - the sarcasm, the berating, the tattling, the ganging up on him that is going on all contribute to a Hostile Work Environment. I told him that mentioning these two "buzz words" in his discussion with the 2nd up boss should perk her ears up to potential lawsuit should his boss get around to firing him as he seems to want to do. She is the Assistant CEO - she will take this seriously.

May see if he can get a part time schedule so he can have a break from all this for a day or two a week. If they won't consider that then I am sure either his neurologist or his primary care doc will be glad to file the correct paperwork for short term disability due to depression and anxiety. Something has to give and soon.

*Update* The 2nd up boss listened to him and he got all his complaints out. She did not say much other than the obvious -there is a communication problem in your department. He also spoke with his boss who was pissed off that he had first talked to the 2nd up boss and "gone around him" well duh if you are going to act like an arrogant asshole of course he's going to go around you! So everything is laid out there in the open. I don't know what they are going to do about it but for now he's not quitting which is good for our finances if not for his mental health.

OH and his boss yesterday told him in a threatening manner that he could write him up for using a vacation day as a sick day last Friday because he had used all his sick time. And hubby didn't argue back at all! I jumped all over that - he cannot write him up because he has been approved for FMLA and can use up to 12 weeks of time with no repercussions! I told hubby to go to HR - get a copy of the signed FMLA paperwork and give it to the boss for his fucking records so he can get it straight. What kind of an asshole dangles that kind of threat over you anyway?

So helping to find him a new job is still high priority!.