Thursday, September 18, 2008


He didn't necessarily get the job in NYC - he thought he had it because they told him when the start date would be. But they never offered it to him officially - he won't find out until next week after they interview another candidate. UGH - he quit his job because this was a "sure thing" and it's not, it never was and I want to tell him he's an IDIOT.

Then he tells me that if he doesn't get the job he still wants to take some time off because he needs a break. He wants to go visit his mom and his aunts and take some time off. WHAT THE FUCK? He needs a break? He has had 2 breaks already since we have been married - it's my turn to take a fucking break if anyone gets to.

I'm too mad to discuss it tonight so I'm just keeping quiet. I may keep it to myself until next week when I find out if he got the job or not. If he gets it okay I can bite my tongue BUT if he doesn't get it he is not going traveling unless he has a job lined up. If he gets a job he can give them a start date 2 weeks out and go visit his mom IF we are not completely strapped for cash by then.

I did our budget today and if he doesn't find another job until January or February (which is what I expect if he doesn't get this one because it takes time to find a job) we will be seriously broke. I will have to let my housekeeper go, stop contributing to my 401K, cancel the DISH network, cancel the DSL, cancel any hope of a vacation next year, skip buying gifts for anyone for Christmas, etc. We'll be fine for October and run short in November, by the end of December our cushion will be gone and I'll be using my home equity line of credit to pay the bills.

We will have this discussion next week. If he gets in his car and takes off to his moms anyway I'm temped to tell him not to come back.


Jennifer McKenzie said...

Man, I got nothin'.
I think you're doing the right thing to wait because I NEVER say what I mean when I'm pissed off.
I've always thought you were amazing and I'm SO SORRY your husband doesn't see how totally awesome you are. I mean, that he doesn't appreciate you in a way that he'd know this would NOT be a good way to deal with things.
A story that probably doesn't relate. My first husband did a similar thing. He drank himself out of several jobs and finally got sober.
When he did, he told me that, instead of getting a job, he needed a break. Meanwhile, I'd been totally burdened picking up the pieces after his many drunken escapades (which was all MY responsibility. I could have left it to him, but chose to clean up the mess).
What I found out years later was that he'd TRIED to get a job, but no one would hire him because he was an alcoholic.
We got a divorce, but I wasted a lot of years believing he needed a break when in reality he just couldn't get that job.
My point? Maybe there's more here than just "I need a break". It's possible.
When you're calmer, maybe you can ask him.
Or not. LOL.
Big hugs to you though.

Maxie said...

I'm so sorry.

I really hope you can talk some sense into him either way. He has to realize right now isn't the time to be "taking a break." Gesssh.

Meghan said...

Wow Tricia, I'm really sorry. I will be seriously keeping my fingers crossed that the NYC job does pan out! Needs a break, huh? Don't we all? Like you, I have had jobs before that I came to truly despise, but never have I walked out without protecting myself. Over the last year or so, I've been increasingly questioning what I want most to do with my life too, and have seriously intensified my savings efforts. More and more, a part of me is thinking that at some point in the next few years I may take a sabbatical of 6 mos to a year too; however, if I ever actually do it, I will do it with a plan and plenty of money to hold me over and my savings intact. I would NEVER be happy with my SO footing the bill, even though he would. Likewise, Pete shouldn't be putting you in this position, particularly since he's done it twice before. Well, best case scenario, he will actually get the job and get a bit of a break for the few weeks between too. I am hoping for that!



Linda D. in Seattle

Anonymous said...

Let's hope that NYC pans out and this all becomes a non-issue. If it doesn't, then I would say it's time for a heart to heart. BTW, WH didn't really realize how serious I was about everything until he found out Friday night that I had looked at apartments and lined up cosigners. He thought it was all just hot air. Sometimes I think that they think that we're bottomless pits of tolerance, and they need to be reminded that we have a breaking point, and you're standing on it, asshole.