Friends - I have my husband back. Well technically he never went anywhere but he was definitely absent from any effort in the relationship for awhile. He's been semi-depressed for awhile and more agitated and irritable than anything. We tried drugs, we tried therapy, we tried more drugs, his therapist had him reading books on anger management (well he bought them at least not sure he ever actually "read" any of them). We did find a drug that was more a mood stabilizer than an anti-depressant, we struggled to find the right dosage. Finally we found it, and the anger subsided. That was something. It was not enough. He was still not happy.
Remember the "he lied to me post?" well that first contact with an old girlfriend actually started to bring him back to life. She wasn't really the answer though (thank god) and he's had no contact since. But he joined reunion.com and classmates.com and started searching for people from his past. And finally he had some success - on Friday he found a friend from high school (this one is a guy so no worries on my part) and found out he lives only about an hour and a half away from us. He emailed back and forth pictures, they talked on the phone and we now have to set a date to get together with him and his wife.
Last Monday I had gotten a strange comment on my MySpace page about hubby from a woman in Oklahoma - turns out her husband was his best friend in high school. She searched hubby's name and found my home page that lists his name and has our wedding pictures, etc. Then she searched MySpace for me and found me. So hubby then joined MySpace so he could view their pictures and stuff. Then exchanged info online and his buddy sent a phone number, and so he called him on Saturday evening. My husband who HATES the phone and will keep his conversations as short as humanly possibly talked to his best friend from high school for 4 HOURS!!!!! They covered every detail of the past 24 years it seemed. Then on Sunday they spent 2-3 hours on instant messenger. His buddy and wife are now planning to come see us for a long weekend in April. They are going to fly out from Oklahoma and spend 4 days in upstate NY probably mostly drinking and playing pool and chatting and the men (if the IM conversation was any indication) reverting to acting like 17 year old boys. So his friend left him a comment on MySpace that says - never lose touch again - Best Friends Forever.
I laughed my ass off! What are they teenage girls? BFF? But I love that he has found this great friend from his past and that they seem to be able to pick up where they left off like 24 years have not passed at all. I'm sure I'll hit it off with them (I mostly get along with everyone because I'm a pleaser) and we'll have a great time.
So hubby has been - sweet, affectionate, attentive, smiling, laughing, looking forward to things, not moping, not depressed, not angry. It's like the guy I married is back! And this time it feels like it may last. I can't tell you how happy I am to see him being happy.