Friday, February 12, 2010

If you want God to laugh at you make some plans...

Life never turns out how you plan - over the years I've had many plans. In my teens and early 20's my plans included going to college, getting married, a family, a career, I was going to have it all. I spent my 20's single and mostly loving life and having a great time. I did go to college but didn't graduate and get a fabulous job with a big salary. I always had a job and eventually I got into the field of work I wanted and worked my way up those corporate ladders.

I got married shortly after turning 30 but never did start that family and its for the best really.

I went to grad school and got an MBA with dreams of screaming my way right up that corporate ladder into a six figure salary and a corner office. I started working on this dream and had made several key moves that would get me there.

Then my husband's MS took a turn for the worse, and my priorities changed. All of a sudden the long hours and travel required to climb that ladder wasn't possible and the ladder wasn't important anymore. I took a job with more flexibility and a bigger paycheck but no real future for me, and I hated it.

My time became consumed with disability applications and doctor's appointments, and then I lost the job I hated and found myself on unemployment for the first time. It was such a complete turn around from the corporate go-getter I was just 3 years ago.

These days I sleep in, I go for walks with my dog, I surf the net, I bake, I clean, I cook. I drive my husband to appointments and speak for him when he can't find the words. I advocate for him, I fight for what he deserves. It's funny I used to wonder what stay at home mom's did all day - now that I am basically a housewife and caregiver I wonder how I used to have time to work 50 hours a week.

Now my plans are shifting - and I'm more flexible. I still want to do some entrepreneurial stuff and have started a small website that I'm just not finding the time to work on and need to make the time. I'm looking at part time work from home opportunities and finding they are out there but the competition seems fierce so I'm not having a lot of luck yet but I keep trying.

Now my worries are - someday, when being a caregiver is not my primary job - will I have any job skills left? Will anyone hire me then? So planning to do some volunteer work to keep skills up and hopefully socking away cash when I can so I have a nest egg and hoping I don't have to worry about this for decades!

So despite the fact that my plans never seem to pan out - I keep making them. Gives me something to do.! :)