I got rid of the "other woman" she took my email warning her to back off to heart and she blocked my husband from her facebook page. He also sent her a message saying he couldn't talk to her "as much" uh ya think? But she is out of the picture.
Today we start with a therapist together. His psychologist put in the referral. I'm not really hopeful because he tells people things like "we are going to marriage counseling and if it works, okay and if not I'm going to Ohio." Sounds like he has no plans to work on anything. I imagine he expects the therapist to tell me what I need to do to be a better wife and he will get to sit back and agree. I don't think he has any idea what will actually happen in there and how bad it can be because I plan to tell the truth, THE WHOLE TRUTH and nothing but THE TRUTH. So it will be emotional, and he will NOT be looking like any kind of saint.
The person we are meeting with is the Psych Intern for the VA not a seasoned therapist. I don't think she is ready for us, but I guess we'll see. It is worth a shot.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Because you matter too...
One of my husband's healthcare providers (a social worker in one of his clinics) gave me a hug on Wednesday when I sorely needed one and told me that it was because I matter too.
It's nice to hear this once in awhile, she is a great person for always noticing me and what I'm feeling. Down is what I was feeling Wed, very down. Her attention helped.
His illness is all consuming. It has taken over every part of our life, my life. He wants people to see him for who he used to be and not who he has become so he lies. He talks to old high school friends and he lies. He has inappropriate conversations with other women and he lies.
I know I'm here day in and day out and he can't lie to me about his illness or it's severity so he seeks others who don't know and he tries to make himself feel like he used to because they don't know or understand that he is not at all who he used to be.
The latest instance was with a friend he had from high school, a woman of course. Some chatting got way out of hand in my opinion. I know and understand his illness and that impulse control is nearly zero for him. What I want to know is why she went along with it? She is supposedly in a relationship and happy and she KNOWS he is married, happy or not you don't go there with someone else's husband, not if you have any class that is. Maybe it's just me being pissed off, but I have spent the last 4 days writing a letter to let her know she has been played, and that I have caught her out and that I am NOT amused and wish her to just drop off the face of the earth.
Somehow not finding the nerve to push send right now. But I will, yep I am going to tell this woman to BACK OFF my husband, or maybe I'll offer to drop him and his dirty laundry and many problems off on her doorstep, that is if she really wants him so bad?
It's nice to hear this once in awhile, she is a great person for always noticing me and what I'm feeling. Down is what I was feeling Wed, very down. Her attention helped.
His illness is all consuming. It has taken over every part of our life, my life. He wants people to see him for who he used to be and not who he has become so he lies. He talks to old high school friends and he lies. He has inappropriate conversations with other women and he lies.
I know I'm here day in and day out and he can't lie to me about his illness or it's severity so he seeks others who don't know and he tries to make himself feel like he used to because they don't know or understand that he is not at all who he used to be.
The latest instance was with a friend he had from high school, a woman of course. Some chatting got way out of hand in my opinion. I know and understand his illness and that impulse control is nearly zero for him. What I want to know is why she went along with it? She is supposedly in a relationship and happy and she KNOWS he is married, happy or not you don't go there with someone else's husband, not if you have any class that is. Maybe it's just me being pissed off, but I have spent the last 4 days writing a letter to let her know she has been played, and that I have caught her out and that I am NOT amused and wish her to just drop off the face of the earth.
Somehow not finding the nerve to push send right now. But I will, yep I am going to tell this woman to BACK OFF my husband, or maybe I'll offer to drop him and his dirty laundry and many problems off on her doorstep, that is if she really wants him so bad?
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