Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm back...

I took a rather long blog vacation, but I'd like to think I'm back - hopeful to start writing more often again.  Life has taken some turns and I have been on quite a wild ride.

My husband's MS is getting worse - no if's and's or but's about it.  He is now secondary progressive and he is PROGRESSING.  He is lethargic and depressed and easily confused these days.  His doctors are working on his meds to hopefully help with some of this but I worry.

I had gotten called back to a full time job.  I didn't want to go but in a panic about losing unemployemnt benefits I said yes and for the last 3 months have regretted that decision daily.  So I gave notice and will be done on the 21st.  Trying to use VA transportation for the husband and not being at any of his appointments just wasn't going to work out for me.  I was on conference calls with his doctors when I should have been working.

I am also depressed, I know this.  I do not want medication.  I want things to be different BUT I'm coping.  Losing the soul sucking sales job will help.

I hope my posts are not all downers but no promises.  My career is officially dead and I am a caregiver first and  foremost.  At 42 that is a little hard to swallow and yet it is what I wanted and what I needed to do.

More later, I promise.

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